I Can’t Believe It’s Not 2020! (almost)
I know I’m not the only person who feels like this has been the longest year ever. In January I went to a Chinese New Year party and took a cooking class, in February I went on a ski trip, and in March, I took a trip to San Francisco. Now when I think about those experiences, it feels like they happened to a completely different person or in a different lifetime. It’s crazy to me that I did those things in the same year that I spent over nine months working from home. On the other hand, it is a little surreal that we’ve made it this far and that 2020 is finally almost over.
I don’t usually like having a lot of stuff, but this year, decorating and having some semblance of holiday spirit feels important.
Despite (or maybe because of) the ostensible mundane nature of this past year, I’ve actually had a lot of growth and time for reflection. Here are three things that I’ve learned and thought about a lot:
The ephemerality of moments: This year has been one of the best years for me, but also one of the worst. These ups and downs have made me confront the ephemerality of moments. I’ve been incredibly happy this year (e.g., seeing the beauty of California, eating KBBQ and hot pot with loved ones for my birthday, starting Helium and this blog), but have had some pretty low points as well (e.g., the dissolution of a serious relationship, being stuck inside when the air quality was horrible in SF, general covid gloom). When things are going really well, it’s important to savor and treasure those moments and not take them for granted. When things inevitably start going less well (or just flat out bad), know that it’s only temporary. In a weird way, I’m grateful for the good and bad of this year - the good for obvious reasons, but the bad, because it’s made me appreciate the good so much more. I know I’ll have many more glorious and trying times ahead, but this year has given me the appreciation and resilience for both.
Just because something is good for other people (maybe even a lot of other people), doesn’t mean it’s right for you: For the first 22 years of my life, it was pretty obvious what I should be doing and working toward. Higher education isn’t for everyone, but it was definitely the right path for me. After graduating college, it seemed like the “right” thing to do was predetermined as well. Like most of my classmates, I went into consulting. This past year though, I’ve thought more about how other people are always going to have their own opinions on what the “right” thing to do is. But just because something is right for a group of people doesn’t mean it’s right for you. After graduating college, we have so much choice in what we do for work, where to live, who we date, etc. It’s almost too much choice, so sometimes the easier option is to do what everyone else is doing or what everyone else respects. Everyone says to follow your dreams, but the path to even figuring out your dreams can be amorphous and nebulous. This year I’ve started to think more critically about what intuitively feels right for myself, even if it’s different from what I see on social media and LinkedIn and hear from my parents (I am Asian American, after all).
Being less extreme when it comes to new experiences: I love new experiences - I think they’re one of the best ways to learn about yourself and to avoid being stuck in an echo chamber. Since graduating college in 2017, I’ve lived in three cities and had three different jobs. I’ve learned a lot of important things through these experiences, made great friends, and explored three amazing places. I also really enjoy the challenge of starting over in a new city and a new job. This year though, I’ve realized that my propensity for seeking new experiences doesn’t mean I have to constantly uproot my life. I don’t regret making any of those big shifts, but I’m starting to value stability more. Side projects and businesses like Helium, this blog, and interviewing Asian Americans have been valuable ways to learn (about myself as well as things like how to run a business, how other Asian Americans view and grapple with their identity, etc.) without dropping my resume at 100+ job postings and shipping everything I own across the country.
We’ve all been through a lot this year, but it feels like we’re ending 2020 on a high note with the vaccine starting to be rolled out. I’m optimistic about what 2021 holds and looking forward to more learning, growth, and human contact (fingers crossed!). Happy holidays everyone! Hope everyone finds time to relax and recharge with loved ones in the next few weeks 🧑🏻🎄🥰🎄