Gratitude in 2020
With everything that’s happening in 2020, it can be hard to practice gratitude sometimes. On the other hand, this year has also made the things I’m grateful for more salient. There are a ton of things I could talk about (e.g., family, friends, my education, current and past jobs, stability, physical and mental health, Dash and Lily, Animal Crossing,), but for now I want to focus on three that I’m especially thankful for lately:
San Francisco:
I’ve wanted to move here for a long time and finally made the move a few months ago. There were logical reasons for moving here: proximity to family, abundance of Asian food, desire to be surrounded by nature, fond childhood memories, slight resemblance to Taiwan, etc. But above all else, I had a strong feeling that I wanted to be in this city. It can be difficult to justify making big life decisions based on feelings, so even after I arrived in SF, I had some doubts about whether or not I had made the right decision. SF is a polarizing city - sometimes it’s hard to have a conversation with someone without hearing their laundry list of reasons why they would never live here.
But now that it’s been a few months, I can confidently say that moving here has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. I’ve spent more time with family, reconnected with old friends and made new ones, and explored a lot of the Bay Area. The innovation and spirit of this city (while not as vibrant as it was pre-covid) has also helped me be more creative. I recognize that I don’t have an accurate impression of what SF “normally” is like and I don’t know if I’ll always want to live in a city, but for now, this place ineffably feels like home.
Community:
The nature of several significant relationships in my life have shifted over the past few months. While I’m pretty fatalistic and believe these changes are for the best, change can definitely be uncomfortable. But during this time, I’ve had so many old and new friends step up and show me the strength of my community. Covid sucks, but I’m grateful for how it has normalized video calls. My friends live all over the States and before covid, we’d text and see each other a couple of times a year if we were lucky. The prevalence of video calls can be frustrating at work when zoom fatigue is high, but it’s been a blessing in maintaining my friendships. Sometimes calls with friends feel vaguely like work calls, but I am willing to pay this small price to stay connected with my incredible friends :-)
Positivity:
I’m a naturally positive person, but I was not always this way. I was an angsty teenager, quick to take the cynical position in conversations, but thankfully I’ve changed. These days I’m usually upbeat - I try not to sweat the small stuff and I get excited easily. This positivity has helped especially this year when so much is uncertain and sometimes it seems like things will never get better. Positivity has helped me find things to look forward to and I’m grateful that it’s part of my personality. I definitely still have my moments where I get bogged down and overwhelmed by ostensibly small issues. In those times I make sure to go back to the basics and get outside, exercise, get enough sleep, and eat a healthy meal. This year I’ve learned to better control my emotions by choosing which thoughts to dwell on and which to let go. With the help of others, I’ve learned we have choice over our emotions and we can curate this positivity even on days when it isn’t as innate.
2020 has not been the most fun year, but hopefully we can all take some time and remember what we’re grateful for. Even during a time when it seems like experiences and relationships feel muted and less colorful, there’s still (hopefully!) a lot to appreciate. Hope everyone is staying safe during the holidays and finds time to relax!